tiara

2002-10-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

I combined everything on one site. Say goodbye to Naked Thoughts! Click here if your browser doesn't refresh for you automatically. Please also change your bookmark and blogroll. Thanks!

2002-09-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

Find me here until I got the approval about my hosting.

2002-09-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

Viking is taking care of my new blog right now and everything - so I won't write much here until everything is set and done. I haven't received the confirmation email from the domain site, but Viking said my domain has been registered there. This gonna take some time as I will move all my blogs there, but I will do it one by one, starting with this blog and then my photolog. Hope it won't take too long ...

My left ear is still painful now. It's swollen and if I open my eyes too wide, it hurts. This is kinda my moment of silence. Online and offline. But this won't last more than 2 days. So be patient, my mind :)

EM is really sweet that he wishes all the best for me and W.

2002-09-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it took so long for the speaker today in Chruch to finish his sermon! The service was started at 17:00 and finished at 20:10! Goodness! And today was the first time Nia went to Church with us ... Hope her parents will still allow her to join us to Church next week!

The sermon was started by an altar call and it took aabout 45 minutes or so. And in the middle of that long sermon, I got a long distance call on my cellphone (the number didn't show up). I couldn't hear it clearly, the person over there know my real name and if I didn't misheard his name is Michael or something like that and he sounds so Indian. I don't think I know anyone by the name of Michael. I only could get one of his sayings, "How is everything with you there in Indonesia?" I told that person that I was in the middle of the sermon and I asked him to call me back in 30 mins, but he didn't.

Anyway, finally I got an email again from W and it sounds pretty "promising" ...

Hello there Tiara,

How are you doing today? I miss you!!! How has your weekend been? I am on my way to pick up Sebastian and Sabrina in a few minutes so I just wanted to say hi. I was just reading the news and it amazes me how we ended up with this president that we did. I mean Bush just has a passion for war it seems. Well anyway, what was the message about in church today? I am looking forward to going to church with this very cute Indonesian young lady soon :-) I think you might know her. Hahaha.

As far as my intentions after things are settled it would definitely be easier for you to come out here then for me to bring the kids there. That is too long for them to be out of school and the flight by itself is much more than they can handle. London is only 7 hours and they hardly handled that. We will talk about it in detail. I really would like you to come out after I visit. Well , I had better go for now , but please take care of yourself in the meantime.

Love you,
William

2002-09-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

Knockers The Klown

I am a celebrity sex clown.
I am a real clown.
I am famous for my twisted sex-related stunts and pranks.
I have toured the country three times with small traveling punk rock side shows, living the life of a glamorous hobo.

To date I have sat on 200 flaming birthday cakes, gotten thrown off college radio stations for talking too much about pubic hairs, been seen on Talk Soup, HBO, Sally Jesse Raphael, spanked Howard Stern with a rubber chicken and I continue to gain notoriety for being the dirtiest clown with the biggest boobies!

I drink beer and dance on bar tops. I am a clown. Enjoy.

2002-09-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

I turned my PC off 90 minutes ago and tried really hard to sleep, but I can't. There are too many things on my head right now. W, EM, my blogs, my future ...

EM finally replied my SMS and he said that I was walking away from him but I will always stay in his heart. My heart was crying when I read the message and I told him that I am not looking for a lover, but a life mate. He didn't reply my SMS after that and I believed he switched his cellphone off after that because my SMS didn't get through. I know that he will be the only person who can really make me happy - IF the situation not like how it is now. I prefer not to write in details. Let it be just the secret of our heart.

My ears have been giving me problem since yesterday. I lost my left earring and my right ear is aching. So painful.

2002-09-28T04:37:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am too over-reacting, but I can't bear this anymore ... I won't update DigitaLog until Monday when everything is fixed. I put a re-directing script there, so all the visitors will be sent to this main blog. That's the only thing I can do right now.

The good news is I finally could make Mom bought me a domain, but it will be only activated in 48 hours from now.

Waiting is so suffering ...

2002-09-28T01:27:00.000-07:00

Wonder why?????? Take a look at my DigitaLog. The whole page looks like shit now and I don't know where to host the pictures!!!!! Arrggggghhh .... And I have to wait until Monday when Viking fixing my hosting

2002-09-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

I was talking on the phone with Viking for 2 hours last night. He is going to import my blog from Blogger to MT on Monday and I started to think of a domain name for myself if I could make Mom buy one for me

We talked about our personal experiences with God and how He has helped us overcoming many obstacles in our life. It's nice to have a Christian friend to share God's love and to strengthen each other's faith. God is good to me by sending Viking to be my friend. Maybe He knows that I don't have much friends I can share my divine testimonies with ... Viking said that even though I don't realize it, my blog may have given some impact to some lives and that scares me once again. He said that one of the reasons why he blogs is because he wants to share God's love with those people who visit his blog. I was going to matchmake him to one of cousins, but too bad he already has a girlfriend

I miss W. No email from him since last night. And it seems that EM doesn't want to be my friend anymore. He has never emailed me since I write often about W and he doesn't want to reply my SMS, either. I am sad. Very sad. I thought he once told me that he loves me unconditionally - but where is he now?

I'm so dissapointed.

2002-09-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

Your teammates rely upon you
to be the Smiley angel
who saves the day.
Don't beat yourself up
over a mistake at crunch time.
It won't help your self esteem.

2002-09-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

Every day is a gift.

If last Tuesday I got some gifts from Ked, today I got a couple of new friends, Viking and Nia, the daughter of my Mom's friend. She's our neighbor, but we just met today.

And the gift goes on ...

I didn't expect that Viking is really serious in providing me the web-hosting and I was so surprised when I checked my email and found that he has set me an account! I am so excited and I can't wait to make the page there ... He even posted a poem for me in his blog. God, I'm so overwhelmed! He said he found my blog when he was searching for Don Moen at Google. So thank You, God, thank you, Don Moen, thank you Viking ...

And the gift goes on and on and on ...

2002-09-27T00:34:00.000-07:00

Chatting and talking on the phone with Viking today. He found my blog from Google. He's so spiritual and he keeps talking about God and His kindness which makes me really small ... He wants to share some space of his web-hosting, too, with me - which I think is really sweet. I didn't ask for it and he said he wants to do it because I blog a lot and he just likes sharing God's blessing

And thanks for inviting me to the church choir concert, Viking!

2002-09-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

Good Morning young lady,

How are you doing ? I wanted to say Good Morning to you and I hope your day is going well. We are about to have dinner now. As far as the travel plans. Well of course it is much easier to travel and do things when you have extra money in the Bank. And that is my plan to take a long awaited trip :) I have to get this food finished for them. I hope you have a good day as well.

Love,
William

2002-09-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

To Sir With Love

Words and Music by Don Black and Mark London

Those schoolgirl days of telling tales and biting nails are gone
But in my mind I know they will still live on and on
But how do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try

If you wanted the sky
I would write across the sky in letters
That would soar a thousand feet high
`To Sir, With Love'

The time has come for closing books and long last looks must end
And as I leave I know that I am leaving my best friend
A friend who taught me right from wrong and weak from strong
That's a lot to learn, but what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon
I would try to make a start
But I would rather you let me give my heart
`To Sir, With Love'

Tell me, how I can't just love African Americans after watching this movie??!!!

2002-09-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

ZHappy Birthday, Listener!!!!!

Only about 6 hours after this entry is posted, my dear friend Listener will turn to 35! Show him some love and wish him the best wishes ...

2002-09-26T04:12:00.000-07:00

What Would Jesus Eat?

Dr. Don Colbert: "The medical facts are in. If we eat as Jesus ate, we will be healthier."

2002-09-26T03:52:00.000-07:00

It's Tiara S.' birthday today. Wish her a happy birthday ...

2002-09-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

My Zonkboard is dying ...

2002-09-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

I didn't have enough sleep. My night was filled by a long dream of W - I dreamt of things we had been through from the first time we knew each other until today. Just imagine dreaming of something that happened for 17 months!

This morning Dad (again) pissed me off. Someone wanted to fax him a document, but there was no paper inside the machine. He screamed and woke me up. When I wanted to go back to sleep, Mom asked the maid to change my bedsheet, so I should wait until I lost my "sleeping appetite". Maybe I should move in a jungle and bring my bed and this computer - where I can be alone and dream of things I have never been dreaming of. I'll send you postcard from there - I don't think there's any ISP can reach a jungle.

I've been thinking of futility since last night. My mind is pretty philosophical right now. I have been losing things I keep and I get things I let go. I can't describe, as there are too many things to be mentioned. And W is a part of it - and so my past is.

I'm sleepy.

2002-09-25T11:09:00.000-07:00

Chatting with Karen, Simon and a new friend from TX, Suzy. I miss Ked. Today was supposed to be our chat day, but her computer fried up. Hope nothing's serious with that and we can chat again next week. I tried to SMS her earlier, but it didn't go through

People are tired of talking about bombs and terrorism and there was a haunted house in Pondok Indah that has been the talk of the town since 2 days ago when a fried rice man was trapped inside the house and until now, he can't be found - dead or alive. Maya said that actually the body has been found but the police doesn't want to reveal it. I don't see any reason why. There were 7 (Japanese) people robbed and killed in 1983 and since then the new tenants kept leaving the house until the house doesn't look like a house anymore, but just a wall. Yesterday Esther told us that she once entered the house and she saw a pentagram there, assumed that the house is used by Church of Satan for their services.

Dad said that he wants to buy the house since the price now is unbelivably low. He's strange.

2002-09-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Tiara,

I was out and about most of the day yesterday. I had to buy a car, which is such a hassle, but it is done. Thank God.

Regarding the lawsuit, it was an ongoing thing with a previous employer I worked for that is to be settled by the end of next week. So that means that I should be getting a very large check from them very shortly.

Anyway, how are you doing today ? I am glad to be back at work. It seems like I have been running around so much the past couple of days so I will make sure Sabrina gets your email later today.

Take Care,
William

2002-09-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

Meat or Accident?

Don't click while you're eating!

2002-09-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Free Will Astrology

Virgo Horoscope for week of September 26, 2002

Do not under any circumstances burp, fart, and sneeze at the same time. For that matter, Virgo, refrain from leaping into the air while blowing up balloons and chewing gum. And never, ever go out to do nitpicky errands as you meditate on the painful events of your childhood and try to dream up a smarter long-range financial strategy. This week, more than ever, you need to cultivate a one-track mind. For now, tunnel vision is the truth and the way.

2002-09-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning because I couldn't wait to go to the Post Office with Mom. Yesterday I got a notification from them, telling that a box was waiting for me there It was a whole box filled with goodies from Ked! Thanks, Sis ! She even sent something for everyone and my parents really loved her gift ... I got a cute porcelain lunch box with her picture inside of it and ... Lilo stickers! Yay! But the best I love are the birthday card and the squeezed penny with the Lord's prayer in it! I will bring it every where I go as a good luck charm

After Post Office, we went to the market. Mom bought some things there and she was so upset as I kept taking the pictures ... We went back home few minutes ago and I'm ready now to catch up my sleep

2002-09-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

September 23-29, 2002
Virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)

Birds are singing, the sun is shining. Everything's coming up roses. Love is in the air. Happy days are here again. So don't fuck things up.
~ Nerve

How do they know??!!!

2002-09-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hi Tiara,

Okay, here is the latest developments. I am in the process of coming to a settlement with this lawsuit that is due to be settled by October 3 . Once that is finished there will much more financial freedom to travel and do some things I have been putting off.

Anyway , it's quite simple actually , but necessary to finish this matter. Anyway , I just arrived at work a few minutes ago so I will email you in a little while.

Much Love,
Will

PS Sabrina says hello :-)

2002-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

God in Us

I just went home from Don Moen's Concert: God in Us. There were thousands of people there! The concert was started at 19:00, but we arrived there very late because we were stuck in the traffic jam. Ronald and Age couldn't come, because they both were not feeling well and Age just got miscarriaged ...

Don Moen has such a sweet face and he looks so godly. His teeth look great and also his smile ... I met so many people from our Church: Keyko, Tommy, Eni, Peter, Son, and Esther came home with us (Maya, Dudung and me. Maya's parents went home after the concert.)

I arrived home at 23:15, took my dinner and checked my email. William said that after Oct 3, he would have more time to travel ... I'm so excited, but I didn't tell him that I felt so.

I'm going to upload some pictures from the concert now ...

2002-09-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

I made my 100 Things About Me page last night because I want to join 100 Things Ring.

I still don't feel comfortable with Dad, but I try to smile and laugh as often as I can in front of my parents. Mom is not feeling well today - she was very tired yesterday.

Maya, Dudung, her parents, Ronald and Age with pick me up later to Don Moen's Concert.

I haven't heard anything from W since Sunday. He is busy. It has been 2 weeks since he contacted me again and it's good that until today we haven't argued at all. Because we don't keep in touch often and I don't bother whether he writes or not.

The fan in my room's attic is spinning now. So is my life.

2002-09-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

Janet mentioned about this Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poetry in her sermon yesterday about "Faith". This is her most favorite poem.

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
And daub their natural faces unaware ....

Aurora Leigh, Book Seven, lines 821-25

I'm still thinking of what Dad did to me yesterday. I have forgiven him - but I'm afraid that it will happen again soon as he still doesn't know why I was so upset with him and talking about it would make another conflict.

Mom's right that right after he was retired, he has changed into someone else who's more short-tempered even though he has had more time for his personal relationship with God now than before.

He used to be so busy in the day time when he still worked in the office and now he became so restless about things he didn't care about before and it's really annoying ...

I love my Dad - that's why I didn't say anything to him before every time he hurt me unconsciously with his words. But I am just human, and I can't do it anymore ...

I felt like going to his room before at 12:00 or so before I went to take some nap, but I didn't. There was something stopped me from doing that. I don't know what it is.

If there is any supra natural power other than God, I hope Dad is reading this posting in his dream right now. Or I wish God is doing something on his mind right now and making him as the man I always admired before ...

2002-09-23T04:34:00.000-07:00

Janet and Winston were just sent home by my parents, Lita and Elias. A Filipino named Jun was together with them in the car. I am currently at home and just checked my email and uploading the pictures I took today.

There were many people came and the ministry was started at 09:30 and ended at 17:15. I really like the cookies from Tante Sally. They are crackers with some cheese, tuna, pickles and red bit. Yummy!

Janet told me almost the same thing she said last May. I don't think she can remember every word she said since she ministers to so many people and no matter how photographic her memory is, she can't remember all. It must be the Holu Spirit talking to us through her.

She said that I would dance on a map (like what she said in May) and there are some addition this time - like I won't just dance, but she saw in the vision that I wear ballet shoes - that means I would be really skillfull in dancing and I will dance ofr the nations for the Lord. She still said that I would soon go to the USA and this time she mentioned the name of the state. "Indiana. I think I heard Indiana.", she said. And if last May she saw someone gave me a gift as a white wedding box, this time she saw me in a bridal gown. Praise The Lord! But I hope she was mistaken North Carolina for Indiana as both are ended by the syllable "-na"

The Lord wants me to stop counting on my own strenght and let Him do things for me. She again mentioned that many people misunderstood me and I was emotionally abused. Not long after she prophetized me, something happened. Dad has been really pain in my neck since my birthday and again today he really made me really sad and I couldn't bear it anymore. He yelled to me in front of many people. I am not a kid and why he always blames me for everything and anything? I ran to my room in tears, turned off the light and cried. Mom few minutes later opened my room with a spare key and she hold me and asked me to be patient and I have to understand him more. After that he went to my room and apologized. How could I apologize someone who doesn't even aware what kind of faults he did? So I just kept silent and asked him that I wanted to be alone for some times. Few minutes later I went out from the room and pretended that nothing happened - even though people could see how red my eyes were.

Oh. God also told me that He loves me for I have a childlike heart and that makes me very easy to believe in Him. I have love and I care for people, that why He would send me to nations and Janet saw another interesting vision. There were so many stamps from different nations on my whole body.

I know I am loved and blessed. And even though sometimes my Dad brings me down, I know my Heavenly Father will always care for me and I always can run to Him.

BTW, here are my latest Mirror Projects:

2002-09-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is so funny. I once told Karen and Chris (FL) that I am selfish. I jokingly told them it is because I sell fish. I didn't know that Chris took it very seriously and even told his wife, Shana, that I sold fish! So he asked me today where did I sell my fish. He thought I sold it in a China Market or something ...

I have to go to bed now. 7 hours from now people are coming here to get Janet's prophetic ministry up until 6 PM! What a day!

2002-09-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

I learned today that my birthflower is either Morning Glory or Aster. I don't really know what they mean - but I like the white Morning Glory and Aster.

I'm starting to enjoy flowers now. Not too late, I guess? But I still think I won't like gardening ...

2002-09-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

Cleaning up is a tiring job - but right after you have done it, you'd feel much better. And "cleaner". I just deleted hundreds of email from my mailbox, sorting them by subjects and gosh, it took me about 45 mins to get the job done!

I have done written Sara's biography for the We Have Brains project. Can't wait to read what she might write about me!

2002-09-22T03:27:00.000-07:00

Trish, I had my bangs cut short again yesterday as you can see here

2002-09-22T02:28:00.000-07:00

Last night I talked to Karen about her birthstone (Amethyst). I tried to find out the meaning of my birthstone, too from Google. And here is the meaning of September Sapphire:

September Sapphire

related to the heavens and virtue
brings both physical
and emotional balance

After we hung up, I searched some birthstone adoptions. There are many! But I only took those I like and keep them here.

Then I was thinking of two wonderful online friends of mine (you know who you are!) and they both share so many things in common:

Born in February
Live in the USA
Love smilies
Have "K" as their initial (one is using her real name and for the other "K" is just her "online" name)
VERY protective friends
Have a male best friend they met online.
Currently are "in love" with someone with an intial "J"
They both are agree with me almost all the time and love me!

Talking about agreement. I feel disturbed actually by some people that left comments in a posting I wrote about William. Don't they read my disclaimer (the README button)? I am quite unhappy with what a friend said there and deleted it, but I responded to what he wrote to me.

You don't have to always agree with me or whatever I write here - but I do think that if I don't ask you for a second opinion (since the entry is just the letters we sent to each other), please don't bother to tell me what I should do. It's my life and don't worry about me. You'd better worry about yourself and your life. Don't be too nosy.

I have been an online friend of this girl since August 2001 and we don't have to agree to what each other think or say or do. But the secret why we're still friends now is because we never criticize each other. We support each other's happiness and be there when the other feels blue.

Maybe this is just another Virgo thing in me. I don't like to be criticized.

OK. Now about today. We went to Church as usual. The speaker was Janet. Dad and Pastor seemed OK, but I can feel that Dad still has some bitter roots inside. Honestly, I can't respect the way he thinks or he did yesterday - but I don't care. I just feel disturbed when he often said that I can't be saved because I can't please God if I still smoke. I think the more important thing for God, or I can say the most, is the matter of heart and not physical activities. I only smoke, come on. Maybe he can blame me if I am committing adultery right now. I am not! And Dad always says that I have been a burden for him because he feels that I can't be with him again when we meet in Heaven. This is ridiculous and I think he's so selfish if he thinks this way ... But I didn't say a word. My salvation is between me and God - and not between me, God and Dad. It's nothing to do with him.

I didn't have a chance to take many pictures outside today - but there are still some. I haven't even transferred them from my digicam to my PC. I'll do it after posting this long and boring entry.

2002-09-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

My Magic Fairy's Name

~ * Your Magic Fairy's Name * ~

Your fairy is called Thorn Rainbowshimmer
She is a fortune bringer
She lives in brambles and blackberry bushes
She is only seen when the first flowers begin to blossom

2002-09-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

Look what I got from Emma today!!!!!

I LOVE this blinkie!!!!!!

2002-09-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Mad Bull

Nobody's an angel coz nobody has wings. Our "holy man" aka Dad was so upset this morning with our Pastor. It was about Janet. She was supposed to serve at our house Monday morning and at our Church secretariat (Kemang) in the evening. But Winston (her assistant) called this morning and said that Janet wouldn't be able to serve for evening services as she would be too tired.

Dad called our Pastor and he blamed him for arranging Janet to preach in Kemang. It was all Winston's fault because he was the one who asked Dad to arrange the schedule last May for Janet's next visit.

Mom and I were so worried as Dad really boiled up. He even said that he would quit our Church and move to another Church. After he talked on the phone we told him that he was so unwise. The Pastor was so much younger than him and anger is not the best way to solve the problem. I do understand the Pastor's situation as he has announced to the congregation about everything and suddenly it was just cancelled. He said that Dad cares about his family (yeah, one of my cousins will come to Jakarta tomorrow from central Java just to attend the service) and Pastor cares for the congregation.

Uneasy situation. I think the old man now regrets what he just did. He is not an angel, he is a mad bull this morning. And there's no bull angel.

2002-09-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Where are everyone tonight? Karen, Trishkin, Bro? Where are y'all? Nobody's online ... Uhm

Nothing much I can write right now. No news is a good news. But today I got some "disco peanuts" from Dudung (Maya's husband). I have "phlogged" it.

2002-09-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

Regarding your request for help with a good man. I know one , and he has tried hard to see you , but has not been able to do so yet.

Admittedly, you have not yet left his heart or his mind. I guess that shows what an impressionable person you are :-) Well, I hope you have a great day as well and I will talk to you soon.

Take Care,
William

cute :)

do you have any recent picture of that good man? do you think i will see him one day still?

tiara.

Yes , I really do think so. I will fill you in on some information shortly about my plans and some big developments I am finishing up now.

I'll email you shortly.

Take Care,
William

2002-09-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Thought #1

I woke up at 04:00 AM for an hour. Nice clean bed sheet and yesterday Mom changed my comforter's cover, too. I smell like an animal: morning natural odour, cajuput oil and cigarette. I feel better this morning. I think yesterday my sickness could be caused by my gasteric problem. But why the fever still retains?

Thought #2

"Bad news" for you (and me). According to Online Photo Resource Guide we can't expect our pictures stay online forever, no matter you host in a paid or free site - unless you have your own webhosting. Money talks.

Thought #3

Yesterday I asked Mom about her boobs and she said hers were just as small and ugly as mine before she was pregnant. She checked mine and "analyzed" that mine would be better one day. I am happy.

Thought #4

Oh, I haven't written about what Lisa told me yesterday. She told me everything about her pregnancy and her relationship with her parents. She didn't aware that she was pregnant until the pregnancy almost reached the 6th month. Because she took some gaining weight pills and she thought it was normal if she ate a lot. She also had irregular period and once didn't have her period for several months before. But she wondered why the pills only made her tummy big and not other parts of the body. She then jogged everyday in our national soccer stadium, couple of times a day. She did some sit-ups and other things. All things didn't change the shape of her stomach an inch, so she bought a pregnancy test and the result was "+". She went to see a doctor and he congratulated that she had been almost 6 months pregnant and the baby is a boy. Lucky girl. So far the doctor sees everything is perfect with the baby (from the USG).

I was supposed to have 3 younger brothers but Mom got miscarriaged often because of little things. One of them was because she drove and didn't aware that she was pregnant. Few hours later, she was bleeding and sent to the hospital.

So I made my own conclusion that the strenght of someone's womb depends on her hair (the curlier the stronger, the straighter the weaker) and their complexion (the darker the stronger, the fairer the weaker). This is just my theory - or maybe I should tan my skin and get my hair permed once I know I am pregnant? Or if it bad for the baby, I should do it the first day after the wedding?

I don't even know who I'd marry to. Heh.

2002-09-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Why she changed my cute weather pixie with another pixie? I couldn't find a new pixie that describes me well now ... Anyway, this brunette babe is pretty - even though she is not really "me" ...

2002-09-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Talked to Trishkin and learned from her that Picture Trail only gives free members free storage for 36 pictures. Ugh. So I moved my Thursday Theme archive (again!) to here. Unlimited free storage, the page downloads pretty fast and the layout looks quite professional ...

I'm having fever now and period at the same time. Not too bad. Physical disturbance is 1,000 times better than emotional one. I am still feel blessed. And happy.

2002-09-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

I don't feel well again this evening. I feel like vomitting and my head is spinning, too. Maybe I'm getting old ... Scarry :(

Trish, finally I use Picture Trail for my Theme Thursday archive. Yesterday I played with Photo Fun. Their layouts are great but I couldn't edit the album once it's done. Stupid site. I will still use WebShots for my daily pictures storage - but they only give 5 MB free space for the storage. You're right. Picture Trail is cool as they give 50 MB space for free!

Got an email from W. I replied and asked him to find a man for me. Hehe ...

2002-09-19T02:54:00.000-07:00

My birthday has been over a week ago, but today I got more phone calls from my friends more than what I got on my birthday. Started by Lisa, then Jeanne and Vivi. Each of them talked to me for about 45 minutes or so. My ears are perspiring now. They are so sexy. But my lips are dry, so is my throat. I'd rather write for 2 hours to myself than talking on the phone for an hour. It's really tiring. I need some rest.

2002-09-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Last night I talked to Ked for hours and we had fun sharing our happiness, sex stories and she sent me loads of pictures. She was such a pretty girl with a long curly hair and she has turned into a beautiful woman today. I told her that I was so happy because yesterday we were happy. This is a rare thing. Usually, either me or her (mostly me) was sad, but not last night. I am happy that she is happy right now and that I find myself more relax than before.

W emailed me last night and this morning. Still talking about how Sabrina likes me so much. I told him this morning that I have been placing my personal ad again on the internet because I can't just wait here and sit, waiting for the right man to find me.

I showed Ked the email I got last night from my ad. He is a New Yorker and he states there that he earns $250,000/year. I don't know much about money and American standard, but Ked said it's a big money. It's not the most important thing, though. Mostly rich people are loosers. But well, I replied to his email before I went to bed.

After talking to Ked, I called Angel. She called me first when I was still online. She told me things. I don't really like her attitude. She doesn't want to marry her boyfriend because he comes from a different religion and from the first time they both know that he can't convert as he's an Arab - but she keeps him because he supports her financially with loads of money and glamor. I was pretty sarcastic last night because I never respect people who go for money, using "love" as the tool. I told her that women who only want to get money from a man without expecting a commitment are no better than whores. I was that sarcastic. And she was too dumb to understand what I mean because she thought I was talking about her friend who is a relationship with some married men. Well, it's none of my business but because she keeps complaining to me about money and stuff, how she loves God and that she is carrying her own cross (what cross??!!!), I am getting very tired and sick of her - so I told her about those stuff. That those kind of people are veiled whores.

2002-09-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

Maya told me some funny things today about Luigi (her eldest son, 7 y/o) and Kirra (5 y/o):

"Mama, since I got my tonsil taken out, I don't feel the "dot, dot, dot" anymore on my neck!"

And yesterday, his younger brother Kirra had lunch with Maya at Pizza Hut. He was stunned with he saw an Arabic woman who veiled all her face but her eyes in black. He pointed at the woman and said,

"Look at that woman, Mama! She has no mouth! And why she keeps hiding her hand inside her clothes??!!!"

Maya was so uneasy because the woman's husband looked so unhappy. If Kirra said it in Indonesian, they might not understand - who asked her to send her kids to an English-speaking school? Hehehe ...

They are so cute ...

2002-09-18T03:13:00.000-07:00

My parents' Daniel's Fasting was actually over yesterday, but they thought it was today. So after being vegetarians for about 3 weeks or so, today they started eating meat again.Dad had been asking Mom to cook chicken feet for him since yesterday and he got it for his lunch today. We also had mussels today.

I'm still not sure what I will do with my bangs/fringe. Maybe I will keep it long.

2002-09-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

(If) They Are Mated ...

So the parents of Mickey Mouse are Itchy and Scratchy?

2002-09-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm chatting with Diaryland chicks right now. Christine, Julie and Muriel. But they are leaving, I guess. Christine keeps getting DC, Julie is getting dress to work and Muriel is munching. Oh, well ... Funny that they don't know that I'm no longer in Dland since May.

Sometimes, it's pretty cool to keep in touch with some old friends. Or getting in touch with the past ...

2002-09-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that Jason is away from his country right now. The email he sent me is dated July 02, 2002 and I just read it today. I didn't know that he still sent me email to my old email address. And he said that he was leaving the US second or third week of September. So he might be in Thailand now with his friends and there was no way for him to read my email as the only email I know is his work email address. Never mind.

I'm glad that William can't email me from work. That makes my life easier. I used to check my email every 5 mins in July and before that, whenever we were "fine". I didn't write much to him but I wrote to Sabrina. Well, I think it's pretty unfair to let her involved. It was started by William because he always said that Sabrina wanted to see me and visited me. He still said that he has promised her that she will see me soon. How soon and how come?

I watched "Three Wishes". Good movie. Almost made me cry. But just like most of happy ending movies, everything was just too good to be true at the end of the story.

If only life is as easy as it is in the movies ...

2002-09-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

Mirror Projects:

2002-09-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

This is strange. One comes after another. After the shock from William, this morning I checked my old Yahoo email and I got an email from Jason, that guy from MN. Long story. But Ked, I hope you remember about the first diary you reviewed for Naked Reviews. Yes, that's the guy.

Out of the blue, he said that he's coming to Asia and want to celebrate his birthday next month here if he is still welcomed. The mail was sent early July and he's starting his trip second or third week of this month (September).

I also found the email sent by William 2 days before my birthday there, saying that he wanted to be the first person wishing me a happy birthday and that he still loves me.

I really don't know how to react now. Too many things happened in less than 12 hours which I can't handle. I can't handle my emotion, reaction and everything. I am more confused than before. Why suddenly everyone wants to keep in touch with me again after they abandoned me for no reason for months?

I feel bleh.

2002-09-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

I can't believe you didn't get your Birthday card. Sabrina and I took a lot of time in picking out the right one and she even typed her name and Sebastian his name on it :-(

Well, Happy Birthday again. Hope you had a good one. Things here are about the same. The kids are in school and doing well it seems.

You know I was out and looking for some movies in the movie store and I bought one. And Sabrina asked me who is that for and I said Tiara. So here I am with a movie for you called Serendipity. Have you already seen it?

2002-09-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

GOD. I'm still here. Being speechless and numb. Suddenly I turned into a frog. Or anything. I don't know. I feel like I-don't-know. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or both or shit or fuck or damn. I'm scared that I might say "yes" again if he asked for another chance. I'm scared that I might get hurt again and cry for weeks ...

EM, why your life is so complicated? Why we don't have any hope at all? I don't blame you ... but maybe if there is something I can see in the future for us, I'd bravely told William that I don't need him anymore. But I do. I've been thinking of him for days and dreaming for nights.

I told Karen that now I hate my birthday. It gives him a chance to write to me again. I feel like blaming everything and everyone now. But if I get hurt again, I know it's my own fault.

Fuck.

2002-09-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

My face is turning red ... It's warm ... I GOT AN EMAIL FROM WILLIAM!

2002-09-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

My Monday Mission link doesn't work in the site's comment ... Anyway, they are posted here.

2002-09-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

As Per Chris (AZ)'a Request

ounce_of_hope: describe what it is like where you are sitting.. I want to get a better picture of a different place
naked_thought: it's better if i take the shot
naked_thought: easier for me to describe
naked_thought: hehehehe
ounce_of_hope: ok
naked_thought: brb soon
*** You have been disconnected. Mon Sep 16 22:51:58 2002.
Session Close (ounce_of_hope): Mon Sep 16 22:54:10 2002

2002-09-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

Illusive God

I am mean. I am happy when people don't like some people I don't like.

I've been really sick of one of cousins, David LK (I have 2 cousins with the same first name: David LK is Dad's nephew and David H is Mom's.). My parents used to think very highly about him because he always tells them about the divine visions he has. I believe in those things and I believe that God gives some people His vision. The miracle still happens until today and not only in the Old Testament time. But David is way too much often and the way he lives his life doesn't show that he is a true Christian or as holy as he always tries to impress people. The last "prophecy" he saw was his mansion in Heaven. He said that God has prepared him a 7th storey mansion and it is the biggest one in that God's land. How can it be, what has he done for God and for other so he could get that palace? And how could such people who have a close relationship with God like my parents, believe in him? I've never told them that I don't like him. I've never influenced people to dislike people I don't like but usually I give some hints ... I don't like the way he makes himself as a little god and how people consider him as the most annointed prophet.

Today Dad called his brother-in-law and he asked Dad why he is upset with David. My Dad is not upset with him. He even didn't ring us when he went to Jakarta, how could he told people that Dad is upset with him? Yes, my Dad is upset with him now after talking to his in-law because he lied! Yesterday Dad's good friend came over to our house and he said that David ignored him when they met at a mall because David knows that he is bankrupt now. And he said that God has prepared the best place in Heaven for him ... Is it his vision or illusion?

Henny called today and she invites me to attend her birthday party on ... January 22, 2003! It's not even September 22 today! Silly girl. I'm sad that she stops writing because her writing is so beautiful ... She told me that now she hangs out at Kurusetra and makes online friends there ... It has been more than 9 months the first and the last time I met her.

2002-09-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

September 16-22, 2002
Open Mike Night: Horoscopes from Our Co-Workers

Virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)

"Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Stick to your guns and things will unfold the way you will want them to. In the meantime, avoid sugar." — Noa
~ Nerve

Few months ago, Chris (AZ) helped me writing my personal ad I posted at Nerve and AIM Dating. He wrote it very well and I thanked him for that. Unfortunately, I don't get any single response from Nerve until today and AIM Dating is only visited by teenagers which make me really sick ... I'm talking about 15-17 little boys.

I've been thinking about writing about this in my blog since last night before I went to bed, but I don't want people to think that I am for sale or something. I'm just tired being lonely and I need being with someone in a committed relationship. As I don't have any chance to meet real life people, I count on the online life. Yesterday I posted my personal ad again somewhere and I keep in faith that God will help me to find the right man into my life. If it works for other people like Melanie and her daughter, Jade and some people I know, why it can't be happened to me?

I also have been thinking to store the ad Chris (AZ) wrote for me - but then I'm afraid people might think that I am an internet slut even though it's only for my own reference in case one day I lose the data in my disk or something - but hell, I don't bother about that anymore. And as what my horoscope told me for this week's forecast, I should stop worrying about what other people think of me. So here it is, as written and posted in that personal ad site.

I hope you don't judge me. I am just searching for my own happiness and the missing part of my life ... and if I don't fight for myself, who else will do?

2002-09-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

Everytime I visit a new blog, the first thing I look for is its BlogChalking. I see it as a mini bio of the blogger. It gives me a draft and a "small picture" of the blog itself and it's more practical than the long bio or 100 things pages.

Some bloggers misled me before I mouse-over the graphic. The icon showed a spiky head and I thought spiky head icon was only used by guys, but some female bloggers use it, too. I haven't found any male blogger with a pony-tail blochalk icon so far ... Hehe ... Maybe if Lorenzo Lamas blogs, he will use that girly icon since I often see him on TV pony-tailed

2002-09-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

I've been really moody since Saturday. It's 5 more days or so before my period. People are just annoying and everything flows very slow here. My brain is frozen, too - I think of something to amuse myself.

I'm bored. I can't think or find anything exciting. The flowers from EM are dying, too

My stomach has been spinning since morning, but up until now - there's nothing happened when I sit on my "morning throne".

Every system in my body is constipated.

2002-09-15T03:42:00.000-07:00

Trishkin sent me this email:

SEXUAL ASTROLOGY
VIRGO
22 August - 21 September
WOMEN: You have no illusions about sex and wish everyone would stop magnifying its importance. Prefer men who will wait for the relationship to develop to the point where sex is inevitable. You love mutual masturbation and enjoy a little punishment and your grace and modesty is a great turn on. You become an artist at pleasing your lover.
Favorite kink: can't truly enjoy it unless a third party is present.
Best sex mates: Gemini, Cancer and Aquarius.

Almost all describes me well, but I don't agree with that "favorite kink" part. I've never been interested in threesome and will never be interested in it! Or maybe I misinterpret something here? Or maybe the third party is his tongue?

2002-09-15T00:23:00.000-07:00

Are you DEFTONES' fans? Join Ked! She just made the ring!!!!!

2002-09-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, World!

2002-09-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that my parents forced me to marry one of their friend's sons. He is a BIG FAT Chinese and in my dream he really stinks! I don't remember remember him until I had the nightmare last night. I cried, but I couldn't do anything ... Chinese believe that if we dream of someone being a bride/groom - that means the person is going to die soon. But I don't want to die now! The Western interpretation is relieving, though .....

Wedding

Although there is considerable variation among the oracles in regard to the meaning of this dream, a consensus seem to agree that it is a symbol of a happy but brief interlude. Of course all the details must be correlated and the interpretation thereby modified.

2002-09-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

Went to the morning service with Mom. Dad didn't join us because he had to prepare for his sermon at one of his friend's church later at 13:00. Om Andreas will send him there.

The service this morning was re-located to "Ceria" Room, just next to the swimming pool. I like the place better than "Indonesia" Room - the view is much better with gardens, swimming pool and everything ... I was so carried away and took the pictures all the way long!

The speaker today is a BIG American lady, I can't recall what her name is. She didn't preach much as she likes worshipping and filled her time with praise and worship.

Angel told me that Lisa was just expelled by her parents a week ago and she is expecting a baby next month ... Whew ... I didn't know about that and I'd never thought that she could be that brave as the Lisa I know was a very obedient girl and a sample of a good daughter for her brother and sister.

2002-09-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Just something to write before going to bed ...

I was talking to a friend today about how and why married people flirt when they keep saying that their marriage life is wonderful ...

Maybe I am a very possesive and super jealous person, but I believe I won't be the only person living on this planet who would feel so uncomfortable if my "significant other" flirts. Flirting is flirting. Online or offline both hurt - IF the love is still there. But things happen and some people think that their spouse is "cool" with that because they seem cool ... But who can get into someone's heart deeply? I can't even trace my own heart sometimes ... how about tracing other people's?

So I came to a few conclusions about "Why The Spouse Seems Cool When His/Her Wife/Husband Flirting"

S/he just doesn't care. The motivation of the marriage has changed from love into something else - or, love has never been really being involved in the marriage
S/he doesn't want to argue.
S/he loves his/her partner so much and is afraid if s/he complains too much, he/she will leave her/him.
S/he flirts, too.

My married friend told me that the only thing can cure from the hurt caused by her husband (he is a BIG flirt) is ... flirting, too. I think that makes sense.

But hell, what I know??!!! I am (sadly) not married yet and I don't know anything about marriage life. But if I were married and I found out that my husband flirts, I promise I would make his life really miserable until he can't even face his own reflection in the mirror. That's still counted better than what Lorena Bobbitt's did

2002-09-14T02:20:00.000-07:00

Melanie wrote this on the email she sent me this morning ...

It's really amazing how many of us have met out partners online. It seems like when you hear about online relationships in the media, they only tell the horror stories. The good ones seem to just end up leading "normal" lives.

I do think though, that we seem to have a tremendous advantage over couples who meet in "real life". All we get to do is talk. Instead of going dancing, or to movies, or dinner - we talk. We seem to really get to know our partners so well. Before we realise we're in love, while there is still some sense of anonymity there we seem to tell this nice stranger our deepest dreams and secrets, so we know each other right to the soul. I think that's what makes our relationships so strong.

Not that there isn't a huge adjustment to make once you finally do get to be together, but there is such a bond there, that nothing is insurmountable. Love, and the deep friendship we already share, make anything worth the effort.

2002-09-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't write yesterday that there was another electricity failure after the morning one. It started at 17:30 until 22:30. Five fucking hours. So after the evening shower I went to a supermarket with Mom and Atin (our new 12 y/o maid).

Atin has never been to Jakarta before and this is her first time here. She was so amazed by the traffic, the lights on the street yesterday and she was so happy visiting a supermarket for the first time. We went out for about an hour and left Dad at home. When he opened the door for us, he was "topless" hehehehe ... It was so hot last night and I told him that he looked like a drug-addict rock star since he's so skinny!

I want to take some nap now since the air-con is on ... Thanks for inventing the electricity, Mr. Edison!

2002-09-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday 8 is up!

2002-09-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

I've known Melanie since I participate in her Monday Memories but we are just started our friendship yesterday after she left me a message in digitaLog's tag-board. And I'm glad that she gives me a very interesting link, You've Got Mail. It's a site of people who meet their significant other online. Very interesting project, I think ...

Ked,

Last night I dreamt of William .....

2002-09-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

Blackout plunges city into darkness for hours

Much of Greater Jakarta was in the dark on Thursday evening as most of the area was hit by power blackouts for more than three hours, causing confusion and traffic jams in many parts of the region.

2002-09-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

Free Online Photo Albums

This week I have been really nuts searching for a reliable, well-designed free online photo albums. I had always thought that Image Station is the best (because they have so many pretty templates for the albums, we can upload videos there - remember that I don't have any paid web-hosting and it's run by Sony which I think is pretty reliable) until Ked told me that she had to have an account there to view the pictures ...

So I moved the picture storage for digitaLog to Snap Fish, but I don't like their layout. I moved them then to Photo Island and their layout is still out of my taste. So I moved them to ImgStudio and I hate that they put "Image hosted by ImgStudio" on all of the pictures so I moved them to OFoto and they are just the same link Image Station. You have to have an account there to access the album.

I don't like Yahoo and MSN photo albums as their site have so many banner advertisement. So yesterday I signed up again at WebShots and so far I like the way they keep my digital pictures there - but they only allow first 5 MB free space, so if I don't have any quota there anymore, I should sign up again for a new account. Not too bad. I downloaded their free software today.Picture Trail is cool, but I don't like the way they arrange the pictures all on the left navigation bar.

I don't have money for my own web-hosting, but I want the best and I'm picky. No wonder my life is so complicated ...

The best things in life are not "things" some people say, but if you try hard enough for find, you'll find the best free things in life. Like what? Name one. Maybe ... friends and loved ones? That makes two!

2002-09-12T23:58:00.000-07:00

We had electricity failure again this morning from 08:00 up to 12:00. I am not going anywhere today. I still owe Tony to help him in HTML and I have so many pics I have to upload ...

2002-09-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

Just something I "have to" write before I went to bed and forget to write tomorrow. Still something about my birthday 2 days ago.

I finally asked for some birthday hugs and kisses from Dad. He did after asking me, "Why hugs? We hug often!" I said, "But today is special for me. I want you to give me some birthday hugs ..." So he hugged and kissed me and after that two of us prayed together. Mom was not at home at that time.

After the pray, I asked him, "Dad, have I really brought you joy like what you just said in your prayer?" "Actually, you have been a burden for me for years because I'm very worried that God won't count you to be placed in Heaven - but from you I learn about patience. Through you, God trains my patience ..."

My Dad is a VERY honest person and he won't care if his sayings are "inappropriate" - just like I do. But since it was my birthday, I expected that he would tell me something sweet ... He didn't and after the talk, I felt a bit sad and I feel sorry for my Dad for having me as his only child that can't bring him joy ...

Another thing is: I was expecting to have a birthday cake with some candles, blowing them and making a wish. But there was no birthday cakes and only 3 pieces of cute-cake without any candle. But I kept thinking of the candles until I went to bed ...

And yesterday as there was a total black out ... candles were everywhere in the house! It was not as I expected, but still they were candles and I believe God went through my heart and He listened to its voice ...

I think God's humorous

It's 10 mins past 5 in the morning and I am very tired. I'm really sorry if I didn't do your Three for Thursday, ... Hope you are not upset with me ...

Today Maya asked me to go with her and stay in Puncak for 2 nights. I don't want to go, but she will be very upset if I said no Maybe I'll get some "inspiration" when I sleep later so I can give her a better excuse ...

2002-09-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

We were in total darkness for almost 14 hours (09/12 11:30 AM - 09/13 01:15 AM) and almost the whole city was totally blacked out. The first thing I do after everything went back to normal again is what I am doing now: updating my blog! I miss my blog and the internet!

I was going to change this blog layout when suddenly the electricity went off. I had nothing to do, so I kept eating (heavy meals, not just snack!) and taking the pictures of the candles and the oil-lamp.

Sep 12 was the birthday of one of my good friends, Lisa. I SMS-ed her and she told me that she no longer lives with her parents which is pretty shocking for Asian. Her folks don't like her boyfriend since long time ago and now Lisa left them for him. I hope he will treat her well.

I'm going to update my digitaLog now and change this blog's layout after this. So maybe I won't write here anymore for tonight. I mean, this morning.

2002-09-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

2002-09-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry if I am not able to visit all of your blogs one by one to thank all of you for making my birthday so special and seriously, this year I receive more greetings and wishes than ever. I feel so loved being around of you here and I am glad that you call me as your friend. I am flattered and honored. And hope that even though today I can visit your blog one by one, I am still loved

I you, Bloggers!

2002-09-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

Birthday Dictionary.

2002-09-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Being 1 year older. Does it change me?

2002-09-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

Whoaaaa ..... I feel so loved! So many birthday greetings, so many birthday wishes and today I got soooo many email in my box!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! There was even one person that sent me 3 different cards ... hehehehe ... sent me this card and sent me this one. And EM's flowers are sooo beautiful! They are White Lily, Carnation and other stuff as you can see here. But I am pretty blue as because of the flowers, he couldn't call me today and he said he had to choose between the flowers or the phone cards, but he sent me the flowers so I can feel his presence of my birthday ...

I was a bit sad earlier because suddenly I really wanted to have a birthday cake with some candles, blowing them and making a wish ... My Mom didn't want to send me to the cake shop, but I kept telling her that I really want a cake today, even without any candle or even just for a piece. So she sent me to Ranch Market and bought some cakes for me. I will post the pictures later in my digitaLog after our daily prayer meeting.

I thought I would be wiser today, but I think I still stay the same. The person who is refused to grow up! Hehehe ... It's so cool to have a birthday once a year ...

I will write more later for sure!

2002-09-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yahoo Living Tribute

My first and second tile. See how much Indonesians love America!

2002-09-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday morning. No hugs and kisses from Dad and Mom, but it's normal because they are just like that. They are not used to express their love and feelings in hugs and kisses even though I want them so much ...

Dad only asked me whether I want to have lunch or dinner outside, I said I don't want to go anywhere and we can eat at home as usual because my parents are still having the Daniel's Fasting until Sep 17 and it's not use eating outside. I think it's weird when I eat and they just watch me eating ...

Last night before I went to bed, I got a phone call at 02:00 AM. I wondered who called and it was my dear friend, Danny. He said sorry for the belated birthday wish because he thought my birthday was on Sep 9

Cousin Leonard called this morning and wished me Happy Birthday. Some friends sent me SMS and right now outside Mom is playing Kenny G's Miracles. For God's sake, it's not Christmas today! She asked me what I want for my birthday and I told her I only want MANY batteries for my digital camera because my cam really "eats" batteries very fast. A couple of batteries only lasts for 2 days the most. See, I'm not a demanding person - or a demanding daughter

There are also some birthday e-cards in my mailbox this morning. I got this card from Jeanne, this card from and the first e-card I got is from

Also thank you for all the people wishing me a Happy Birthday by email or by leaving me the comment in my previous entry. I feel loved

Thank you for giving me one more year to live, Jesus ...

2002-09-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

It's after midnight here, so IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! even though my parents told me that I was born at 08:10 AM which is 8 more hours from now ... Thanks for being the first person who wished me a Happy Birthday, . I feel bad that you call me often and I have never even once given you a call! Love you, T!

2002-09-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

September 9-15, 2002

Virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)

Have you ever lied on one of those little magazine multiple-choice personality quizzes, just to get a positive diagnosis? It doesn't exactly feel like a lie — more like wishful thinking: You're answering for the person you'd like to be. It's kind of like buying a pair of pants in the size you'd like to be and hoping you'll be able to diet your way into them. You may be tempted to conduct your relationship in this manner, too. Resist the urge! Or else somebody's gonna end up real disappointed, and it may well be you.
Nerve

2002-09-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

I dreamt of Yani. I've been thinking of this little girl and in my dream she was not like the little girl I used to know. She was so dark, tall and annoying. Then suddenly, I dreamt that Vivi sent Mom 2 envelopes and asked her to join her doing a business in gold (both yellow and white) and inside one of the envelopes there were some samples of the gold stuff, like earrings, rings etc.

Suddenly there were also many hamsters in a big cage. They were white and yellow and in my dream, they were mine. Was it because I took the pictures of my stuffed Mickey Mouse last night? Not sure. But the hamsters in my dream were all pregnant and nobody fed them. Their yellow furr looked so dirty ...

2002-09-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

Last night I was chatting with Mike. He found me years ago from Yahoo random chat. We don't chat often as many times I found him pretty annoying and disgusting, like when seriously he told me that he's coming here in November and wanted to "have some fun" with Vivi and I. Asshole. But as last night he wished me an early "Happy Birthday", I talked to him for a while.

Still the same old Mike who hasn't changed even a bit. He was so gorgeous the first time he showed me his pictures (he really looks like George Michael and George Michael is such a sexy meat for me hehe ...) But last night he showed me his latest pictures and I think he has changed a lot! What makes him still stay the same is his "interest" in taking pictures of "his human tail". Gross. As we were chatting, he kept uploading his pictures as you can see here. I'm not sure whether the tail pics are still there, because I only want to see the pics of his face and his eyes. He has very beautiful green eyes, though - but his look is so devilish ...

This morning a phone called woke me up. It's from a florist, asking for my full address as someone is sending me flowers for my birthday. I asked the girl over the phone, who the sender is - but she said it wouldn't be surprise anymore if she tells. So I asked her about the sender's country and she mentioned a country's name. Gotcha. I am so touched and I don't know that EM sends me flowers for my birthday ... The flowers would be delivered tomorrow. I just SMS EM, but seems like the phone is switched off ...

Another thing I did this morning is making a series of question for the Biography Project and April matched me to Sara. The due date is Sep 26, but as always - I don't like pending things ...

Mirror Project just approved another picture of mine. Moschino.

2002-09-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

I like those quizzes I took today. Thanks for the link, !

2002-09-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hehe. Someone wished me "Happy Birthday" in ICQ. I checked out the profile and his name sounds so familiar to me. So I asked him questions like the year when he finished high school and what high school he went to. It was him! I know him! He's one of my classmates in High School. I have my picture posted in my ICQ and even though I didn't put my real name there, people should know who I am. The picture is there! But until we hung up, he still couldn't find out who I am. Maybe I changed a lot. I wore glasses since I was in Primary School and just changed it to contact-lenses when I was in the University.

I was so bad. I made fun of him since I know who he is (and he's too dumb that he answers all of my questions!), but he doesn't know me. In fact, we also went to the same Primary School and Junior High. What a dork He wanted to flirt before I told him that I know him. He's married now with 2 kids (4 y/o and 5 m/o). Maybe guys are less carefree and they don't mind to put their real name for random chat.

2002-09-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

Add your 911 Memorial Quilt. I did mine.

2002-09-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I can write about today. I am addicted to Zeocast. Too bad, their server is down more often than up.

I made another Zeocast about my childhood. I feel like crying myself when I watch it ... Click here - but if you can't see blame them, it is not my fault and you have been warned

2002-09-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

I got this link from as we were chatting together with . It says so true about me ... At least, based on my blood group personality and this Chinese Zodiac, they both say I am selfish. So I told Chris that I sell fish ...

The Year of the Rooster

1921,1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005

People born in the Year of the Rooster are deep thinkers, capable, and talented. They like to be busy and are devoted beyond their capabilities and are deeply disappointed if they fail. People born in the Rooster Year are often a bit eccentric, and often have rather difficult relationship with others. They always think they are right and usually are! They frequently are loners and though they give the outward impression of being adventurous, they are timid. Rooster people?s emotions like their fortunes, swing very high to very low. They can be selfish and too outspoken, but are always interesting and can be extremely brave. They are most compatible with Ox, Snake, and Dragon.

BTW, here are my latest accepted Mirror Project. Just submitted another one as you can see at digitaLog:

Hologram Man
Red Beggar

2002-09-08T03:56:00.000-07:00

Pop Art.

2002-09-07T23:29:00.000-07:00

I believe there is at least one mice with a needle inside my body right now, running here and there. I still don't feel well. My head is still spinning and my stomach is painful, it feels like being pricked by a needle

Dad said it was because I spent too much time in front of the computer. Doesn't make sense at all. How did I get the fever, then?!

2002-09-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Half our mistakes in life arise from feeling where we ought to think,
and thinking where we ought to feel.

John Churton Collins

2002-09-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

Luv It!

2002-09-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

It was such a long long night. After chatting with and at 12 midnight, I tried hard to sleep but I couldn't. And I still can't sleep up to now. I got fever, my head and stomach is spinning ... There is a DJ living inside of me, I guess.

I still don't feel sleepy. Want to play with my digicam at Zeocast. Parents already left to Church.

I didn't know that my cellphone battery was flat, so I might miss Oliver's call last night. Damn.

BTW, Chris taught me about "138 = Dinner for 4" and his wife, Shana also talked to us for a while until she had to carry on with her house cleaning.

2002-09-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

Tantric.

2002-09-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry that I didn't give you a chance to say "good bye" to my . He needs to take some rest ...

Finally, I use my Zonk Board. It loads my page faster because they only host for 120 users and I was the 199th when I signed up there few months ago. I borrowed the board to and since now she use QBoard, I took my Zonk Board again and deleted the whole postings when the board was used by her.

BTW, there's a cavewoman today in my digitaLog